It was painful, and out of control and there was nothing I could do about it. When he knew I wanted sex, he always made an effort, even if he was tired or sleepy.--except when we were ending. He took showers with me a lot, but did prefer his privacy at times...In the end, I said I wanted out and he threw me and my daughter out of the streets with no where to go. =( I really exhausted him physically now that I think about it. But if I asked him to shower with me, he never turned me down. Towards the end he became suicidal, talking about hating his life and wanting to die.Looking back on it now, it was a direct manipulation and it worked, because I showed up at his door that evening. I wish I had done my research prior to my involvement with him instead of learning as I went along and although I know not all bipolarâs are the same I would like to post the warning signs I ignored and say that if anyone here is considering getting involved with someone with this illness be prepared to face a lifetime of pain. Very little french kissing or touching in general, but otherwise acted very sexual. 4.) wrote me an e-mail of things he expected of me and from the relationship early on including marriage and children. 5.) told me he âloved meâ after our 5th date 6.) clearly by now he is in a full manic stage.I have yet to meet someone in person or on line that has a healthy relationship with someone with this illness. He brought me down to such a state of depression that I myself had to take medication several months after our breakup for depression. Everything was euphoric, he was taking me on the ride with him 7.) did or made inappropriate sexual comments, grabbing my crotch in public, saying or asking inappropriate things 8.) wanted to know how far I have gone sexually, i. Threesomes, etc 9.) talked about sex all the time, but when it came right down to it, he used it as a way to control me, saying this such as âa good way not to get me to sleep with you is by asking me to.â 10.) sex the first time was horrible and many times thereafter.Some of us will amaze you you and you will find we can be very loving and giving. Statements such as "Bipolars are expert at manipulation" is completely unfounded. Daughter and you at times instead of it always being about himself that things might have been a bit better and not rushed into things. Daughter can find someone that can treat someone that will treat you both the way that you both need to be treated. And actually, I think he was overly involved in his parents life, but that just made him a family person, and me being someone who lacked family life, actually that was something I loved about him. Agree-- "he had a hard time getting off during sex" that was bc of the meds. I took it for 4 months and then I started having severe side effects, like dizziness and losing my hair. I have been off the drug now for 8 months, and although its been difficult at times, I feel myself getting stronger every day. And friends that have never loved someone that is bipolar just canât seem to understand, especially given how horribly he treated me and my daughter. I choose to love the real person that I only got to see glimpses of. Instead he would say mean things to me like, âi felt more sexy with the nameless faceless women on line then I do with you now, or ever did.â it really was a major hit to my self esteem, because at the time, I really did feel like it was me that wasnât âturningâ him on. =( and then the second time, never bad was done, and he doesnt even pick up his calls. Never was controlling or manipulative, howver, towards the end, he just never was around and was too busy with other activities. Realistically, the relationship never would have worked, but he never said it, but always said I was too good for him... But if I asked him to shower with me, he never turned me down. Towards the end he became suicidal, talking about hating his life and wanting to die. Iâve told him that I will always love him and I know there is not another ex girlfriend that even thinks about him anymore like I do.
And for the few of you that actually have survived relationships through this illness. To the author of this article people who have BIPOLAR do not choose to be born that way it's heridtary so for you to say you will never get involved with a bipolar person is ignorant and your daughter is going to end up as ignorant as you. I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 6 years now and I am a successfully lawyer. Thatâs why I posted what I did to warn other women, that this illness is so unpredictable and the saddest thing in all this is that my daughter got hurt the worse and lost a potential daddy. Although my ex-bf and I didnt have anything in common I think that is what drew us close together. In fact he sold a lot of things after the breakup that we enjoyed doing together, like videos we watched, etc. I must disagree with the "lack of showing affection" as being a bipolar characteristic, simply because my ex was the opposite. Holding hands in public, kissing, and he was actually the cuddler. Itâs like he wanted to get âcaughtâ doing something bad.I am hoping by posting this I will help someone else before they subject themselves to the pain that many of us have or are still enduring by loving someone with the terrible illness.Here is my story: I met my ex-fiancÃ©e on a dating web site.He said it was funner having women want him sexually but not giving into them.54.) told me he would commit suicide if either one or both of his parents died 55.) told me constantly he didnât think anyone could be as supportive and loving as his parents had been in his life 56.) said I would end up leaving like all the rest this went on for 10 long months.
It wasnât until after all was said and done that I did everything I could to read up on this disorder. I would therefore caution anyone reading your post to approach all relationships-including those with Bipolars-with due caution and allow the other individual to present his/her individual self without preemptive stereotypes and judgments. I cannot image what he would be like without the drugs. I too wonder if there isnât some âpersonality disorderâ that went undiagnosed. I have been seeing my therapist for over 2 years now, and ironically it was my ex that suggested I see someone, since he accused me of being bipolar quite frequently.