This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.
Their relationship is between them; it's not your cautionary tale or your soap opera. It's easier, of course, to have hard-line rules — "exes are never OK" versus "exes are totally fine" — but that's not the world we live in.We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three.Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.
Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush.