Like the issue of common interests and sexual attraction, there is this dangerous assumption that someone who we find worthy of dating in the first place must be someone who is worthy of a relationship.That’s called giving yourself far too much credit for your powers of judgement. Ask yourselves this: Why, if we’re dating, do we 1) act like we’re in a relationship or 2) not know when to fold and even if we see signs on day one that we should step away from the light, we try to work at dating? Leave Before you go on another date, evaluate your dating perspective.Sadly, a lot of relationships collapse before they even get off the ground because the girl can’t handle the sudden decrease in daily texts and instead of dealing with it, she lashes out at the guy and demands explanations for every text he doesn’t reply to.The mistake that many make is thinking that the sudden drop in texts means he’s losing interest or doesn’t care. Most often, he’s just settling back into his normal routine. You can spend all day going back and forth with some guy about nonsense.Maybe this is what scares me about some of the stories I hear – I know that dating can be tough, especially if you’re doing it online.I have a mother, friends, family, and of course many readers who are dating.In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently.After some time has passed and the relationship is a bit more established, this urge isn’t as pressing and it begins to feel like work.
The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely.
However, when I hear stories about disappointment, frustration, and insecurity about dates that haven’t worked out, there is a recurring theme: Do you know what this also means?
– They were too far along in investment and illusions to have their feet in reality enough to be working out whether this person was someone that they actually should be with.
In fact, I think I have an easier time explaining why men do things than I do with women.
I have been writing about relationships for a while now and over the years I have noticed some prominent points of confusion, ones that seem to be shared by women of all ages from all around the world (no exaggeration).
Now I get it – many people do date because they want to find someone to share a relationship with. If you’re feeling very ‘date or die’, tough as it may be to hear, it’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself and get your personal security in order.