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Prompt one another to explore different situations: if we brought someone home from the bar, what would you want to do first?

You can narrate things that aren’t technically happening to see how your partner responds to different linguistic stimuli.

And the check-in is a way to get more mileage out of your awesome sex by sending an aftercare reminder, bringing you back into the moment with the simplest sentence. Try slipping into some R-rated language during a mundane task, like doing laundry, in order to let your partner know you can’t stop thinking about last night’s hot sex…or how ready you are for round two, just as soon as the spin cycle is over.

This is the perfect chance to be a little silly and embrace double entendres: develop your own secret coded language together.

Again, turn the question back onto yourself: do I like textbook words like vulva to describe my bits, or do I prefer X-rated language like cunt or pussy?

Think about how the following potentially erotic words are feminine, masculine, or gender-neutral: tits, cock, junk, ass, hair, mouth.

Erotic role play provides the chance to get in touch with different aspects of your sexual identity, and you don't need expensive costumes to do it.

Seduction can begin weeks before over text, and lead right up to a teasing moment of foreplay, stating your designs on your partner’s body.

Present-tense narration is a simple and surprisingly powerful way to transform language into a sort of vibrator for your mind, enhancing whatever you and your partner are already enjoying.

Developing a dirty talk style is the same as any other personal style, from your choice of lipstick to your musical taste: sometimes your choices are bold and sometimes they’re routine, but they always express a unique and beautiful you.

I’ve been talking dirty professionally — as in, on camera and in print — for a decade.

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