"They don't shy away from a conversation about relationships, marriage, love and intimacy." Adds Bizzoco, "Even though his previous marriage didn't work out, dating shows he's willing to open himself up to love and that he's interested in something serious again."4. Men naturally want to "fix" things and problem solve, life coach and dating expert Brooke Lewis points out, which can translate into a post-divorce desire for a successful new relationship."Many men have openly shared with me that they'd love to 'make a marriage right this time.'" Andrea, 47, who met her husband on Christian Mingle.com, experienced this phenomenon first-hand.But with the onslaught of dating apps, it's now all too easy (seriously, just swipe right..left). That one who, after three dates, asks you to pick up some toilet paper, plants his feet on you for a foot rub, and immediately starts slipping into the same homey habits he had with his ex. Sorry, but he can only fit you in every other Tuesday because his life is just so. Whether you're divorced and back on the dating scene, or still looking for your first Mr. This guy is used to domesticity..all the overbearing comfort that comes with it. They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.
You’ll have to manage the frequency of her calls, the hours at which she makes them . well, imagine shredding a carrot, tying all those carrot shreds together, then threading the long, thin carrot they’ve become through your sinuses till they pop out of your mouth. Let’s say you’re trying on a dress, and you ask his opinion. He understands the closet isn’t his and his alone, he understands he doesn’t always get control of the TV. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a humble guy with failed marriage over some arrogant guy who’s never settled down any day of the week. He already knows how to run errands after work, gets his kids off to school with a proper lunch, and even cleans before you come over. And now for the good ones, because yes, they really are out there. Best part: he isn't afraid to roll up his sleeves to help. This guy can actually talk about what went wrong—and why—and has a better understanding than most that relationships require oh, ya know, having real communication. Too bad you can't figure out what that reason is—every time you talk about it, his story changes. He's used to managing a house, family, and scheduling outings around many people's lives. His last marriage may not have worked, but that doesn't mean he didn't learn from it. Two years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. It lasted a full 10 hours (we’d met up for coffee at 3 p.m.on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book KNOW.