You don’t ‘get over’ the man, though you do after a year or two get over the death; but you have to learn to live in another country in which you’re an unwilling refugee.” After six months or so, friends and family who have supported you through the first difficult months might start to drift away and get on with their own lives – thinking that the worst should surely now be over.
Your grief will begin to settle a bit like a stone in the bottom of your stomach.
Several months earlier, I retired from my profession as an art teacher, having decided to give all my attention to caring for my husband Chuck.
And as you tip into the second year, the daily grind can be even more difficult to bear –making you even more painfully aware of how much your miss your partner being around. But slowly, imperceptibly, each day will start to get a little bit easier.
You will have to struggle through many “firsts” without your partner by your side – from your first Christmas to your first birthday on your own.
“It’s when the drama is over and you face the grey mudflats of the future that the real widowhood begins...
Just a year earlier, in the summer of 2007, I had surprised Chuck with a wonderful party on the rooftop of a brand-new Manhattan restaurant on the occasion of 60th birthday. The weather was perfect and some 40 friends joined us for food, drink and the best, best music.
I had organized everything and my son, Karim, stepped up and finalized the arrangements.
Other WAY members can be an invaluable source of advice and support as you venture back into the dating world.