It's obviously learned behaivour, probably a flag to other gay men that 'yes, I am gay and thus want to be considered for sex', so I'm curious as to why gay men do it when sex is obviously not on offer (which is what I meant with my 'root' comment) - Sam As always very well observed and written, Sammy. Again, not that there is anything wrong with this, as one of the characters in the Seinfeld sitcom used to say. Anyway, the point I wanted to make, after providing the above diatribe, is that I believe gay people are naturally very relieved to be accepted by everyone once they have announced to their friends, work colleagues and family their sexual preference. Sure in the playground you'd get the odd, "there goes the fag" comment and some fellow teachers would make a On the Busses type joke about it but these two teachers never 'came out'. Call it the Daffyd, only gay in the village syndrome.I had a work colleague who I had suspected was gay from day one. He talked about his partner(s), skipped in the office corridors and commented on how cute some of the males were and which one had the sexiest bum (I'm not telling where I was ranked... I didn't mind it at all that this colleague of mine was more 'out there'. But everyone adopts mannerisms, dress-sense, speech etc that will give them access/inclusion in the grouping they want to be part of.
Oh and ps Sam - many gay men act straight purely so they don't get bashed or discriminated against (such as in the workplace). I'm just aking - I've always wondered what drives it. Anyway, it took him five years to have the courage to tell his co-workers he was gay. When he told me he was gay and received a warm response from me (a smile, reassurance it was OK to tell me and a 'congratulations' on 'coming out') he became more.. Maybe the last one was a tad bit too much information for some of us at work. A cynic might suggest that such OTT gays are inviting discrimination and gladly being cast as victims of discrimination, even if only perceived.He gave me a look like I was retarded and said: "Dan's a poof, you idiot." Finding out Santa Claus didn't exist was not a patch on discovering Dan was gay. Armed with my new knowledge I began, somewhat subjectively, to observe The Gay Man when he visited our house.That meant he was one of those limp-wristed pansies all the boys used to make fun of at school; a homma, a ring-stinger. I soon discovered the caricature I'd been taught in the schoolyard was pretty inaccurate.Some men feel a need to crusade their gayness to the world. For the time I've been out at the club it has become for many of the straight people the only thing that defines me. The players at the club had known me for nearly three years before I came out, and I have not changed so I?d say the answer for MC Handbag and yourself is easy, if enough people go looking for the clich of the effeminate gay man, they'll find it - nuanced or not. Gay acts such as 'lisping' may be learnt, but isn't the straight 'swagger' as well?
This makes perfect sense to me because I often find myself doing the same thing acting and talking boofier amongst blokes and toning it when I'm in the company of women.