I remember being a little paranoid and wondering if people were looking at me.It was not so much whether or not I had a realistic fear; I think it was the setting being the area that we live..” So I acknowledged the possibility of a sexual attraction, but I’d never honestly considered whether or not I could actually be in a romantic relationship with a trans woman before. ” *laughs* I thought you were a little weird, but in a good way.It wasn’t like I had ruled it out, it was just something I hadn’t sat down and thought about. And when I mean weird, I mean quirky and nerdy, stuff like that, and I thought those were very endearing qualities. I looked through the profile and read it, saw the pictures. Then I found out that you were trans because it was buried in the profile a little bit, and I was kinda like — Oh! Like I said, it was something I had never considered, and then I was thinking to myself, well should I still message her?” And some of my friends were kinda surprised, but not completely surprised. And I’m kinda like you know I’m still me, I’m the same guy, nothing’s changed or been buried or hidden or anything like that.And then my sexuality got called into question, like “are you really bi? So yeah, a lot of questions, but thankfully I haven’t had any downright just sheer discrimination against me, but at the same time not everybody in the world knows, either.I think that there’s a lot of stigma out there, and I disagree with Laverne Cox saying that it’s more stigma for straight men dating trans women than it is for trans women; but I do agree with her when she says that we need our representative, you know?We need a straight man to stand up and say “yeah, I’m dating a trans woman” — like someone famous, a celebrity, something like that.
If you're transgender and feeling like the dating apps you currently use aren't your style, there's a new app you can look into.
Don't stop talking to someone just because you realize they identify as trans. Do ask them questions if you feel uneducated about trans issues and trans identity. Trans individuals face a disproportionate amount of violence than their heterosexual cisgender counterparts on dating sites.
As long as you're not being rude and offensive, there is nothing wrong with wanting to know more. This can easily be alleviated with proper education and awareness.
We’re a little selective in who we discuss it with. My sympathy goes out towards trans women who don’t pass. I think it would have made it a lot harder dealing with the stigma that I mentioned before, and I probably would have seen more of it.
It just would have been a lot more difficult, especially with my family and introducing you to them, considering they don’t know you’re trans yet. I think people can wrap their heads around it a lot more if the person is passing, and it’s unfortunate that that’s the case.
At least, a series of jokes and taunts asking if you are not "switching sides" and doubting my manhood. Today (44 years) don't have problems to have gay friends, or go to popular gays bar (good music!