With each new developmental stage, they have new questions and worries. D., a leading divorce researcher and coauthor of What About the Kids?
That's because divorce plants a persistent fear in children, no matter how old they are: "If one parent can leave another, it's only natural for a child to wonder, 'How do I know they won't leave me? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce.
The next time I saw my ex, I asked him about it and told him that he may want to keep it a little quieter as I would hate for things to go bad and have there be issues between the girls at school. Honestly, that was only one of the "better" scenarios I could think of, I can’t tell you the amount of awful ones including having to share my daughters with a woman I knew from school.
I wasn’t a big fan of her already and to have to pretend to be nice and pleasant awhile knowing my children were at her house would honestly be too much for me.
However, I had to remember that what he chooses to do with his life is his own doing and whatever was going to happen would happen.
All I could hope for was that she would realize that there were consequences if our daughters didn’t get along and things rolled over into school.
However, our children go to a very small religious school; this is not something to be taken lightly.
So I casually mentioned that it was nice their dad had a grown-up he could spend time with and left it at that. I really wanted to say "Is she completely stupid for wanting to date him?
But no matter how bad couples feel, it's important for them to take the high road.Numerous scenarios went through my head, such as "What if it gets serious?", "Why are the kids involved so soon if it isn’t serious? "Now, of course who he dates really isn’t any of my business as I don't exactly tell him who I'm dating — but I rarely introduce our children to them.When my husband and I finally agreed it was time to throw in the towel, I wasn't fooling myself: I knew that for Maggie, then 5, and Evan, then 3, our divorce would be a tragedy. The first three days after Jack moved out, Evan screamed himself awake; Maggie cried herself to sleep.The kids loved Jack; they loved me; they loved our family. Months later, I was bragging to my sister about how well the kids were doing, and she started flipping through a stack of Maggie's drawings.
No matter who you are, you dread it when you find out your ex is with someone else.