We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough.
Men intuitively know that words are important to women.
Some men exploit this by saying things they don’t really feel or believe in order to get what they want, and other men hold back from expressing how they truly feel, knowing that once the words are out there the dynamic of the relationship will irrevocably be altered.
If a guy says he’ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over, claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place, then he has a very loose definition of !
I don’t know what the biggest relationship concern was back in the days of touch-tone phones, but these days, it’s all about a guy’s texting habits: why he used to text so much in the beginning and then stopped, why he takes so long to reply, why he disappears for days at a time, why his texts are so short, etc., etc.
The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely.
Countless studies have shown that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships while men measure their worth based on their ability to have an impact in the world and contribute in a meaningful way.
If a man is at work, then that is the sole center of his world and nothing exists outside of that.
MORE- Ask a Guy: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back Guys don’t think about relationships as often as women do. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it’s just not a central point of focus.Fortunately, I’m not the selfish type and am more than happy to share everything I’ve learned.Read on for universal male truths that can save your relationship and your sanity.In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently.After some time has passed and the relationship is a bit more established, this urge isn’t as pressing and it begins to feel like work.
I can relate to all the questions we receive on a personal level because once upon a time, I too was banging my head against the table in an effort to understand .