"Give me your number again so I can delete it again... "I bet that you know your way with a strap-on." 38. "I've got a gimp suit on the trunk, and it will fit like a glove in you." 57. "I'll be right back, I always have to call my parole officer at 6." 58. "Can I cum all over your face but not tell you when it's coming? Now, the dating experts at Uncyclopedia have been racking our brains to find out what the problem was, and it came down to this: You're ugly. "I normally don't say this about everyone, but I know somebody WAY hotter than you." 97. (To be used after sex, if you get it on the first date) "So, if I told you - and this is just a hypothetical - if I told you I might have herpes, what would you say? (Also to be used after sex) "Wow, that was way different than I'm used to. However, if your date was blind and it still didn't work out, chances are you've said one of the things on the list of the Worst 100 Things to say on a First Date. I mean, my dog doesn't do anything you just did." 91. I mean, the pictures I took of you from the tree behind your house say nothing about your personality! "If I pay for dinner, I expect that you'll be having a popsicle for dessert." 89. "I never thought I'd have to use the phrase 'Your mom did that way better.' on a first date." 82. "I fuck on the first date, and my name is Oliver Harris." (actually seen on t-shirts) (Jump up to the guys' section) 101 "You need more Cowbell." 100. Oh, its a scar from where my penis used to be." 99.
"Would you mind just grabbing it for a while, it's kind of cold and I don't wanna get sick! You meet a really cute girl and manage to get through that without mentioning that you are, in fact, an Uncyclopedian. I'd love to see you next week, but I'll be too busy sticking my balls in a pencil sharpener, brrr." 95. "I suffer from every perversion on the list of the Worst 100 Sexual Perversions. A few hours later, you pick her up, open your mouth, and the date ends. I like to make it a challenge for women to get me going." 93. I've really been down since I found out my girlfriend gave me Hepatitis." 24. "You plastic surgery people all have the same thin-nosed face. "Your adam's apple turns my flaccid embarrassment into streaming manliness" 21.